Starting Over

I'm learning in research sometimes what the project you think you will end up with just doesn't work. My first attempt at my StoryMaps was fine. I didn't love it. It was distracting and I could tell it wasn't conveying exactly what I was trying to say. With a nudge from my peers and a large push from my advisor I realized it was time to rethink my purpose with the project.

My StoryMap was concentrating on the structure of women's letters and I was trying to place that idea spatial using the world. In doing so I was forgetting that these women and their correspondence were the driving force of the project. By forcing a mapping element that my theory didn't have fully flushed out yet I was inputting data that didn't really exist. This made my project feel under researched and biased. It took some time but with the help I realized it was time to start over.

I removed the map element. Immediately I noticed that a the structure of a letter is it's own map. When you break down a letter you can see keep elements that each letter possesses. For me it began to look like a map to follow. This key element changed my entire thinking about this project. Not only did I have to remove the mapping element but I had to use the letter as my guide and focus less on the content. I had always said that was what I was doing at the beginning but something wonderful comes over you when you start transcribing and these letters begin to have a life of their own and the writings of these women become personal. This threw me completely off focus.

As the reworking the process began I began to fall in love with my project. There is always a moment (for me I have noticed) when the paper, research, or project takes shape where you know you are on the right track. This is when you gain confidence and focus. It was this very moment where I realized I was on the right track but there were still questions I had. Why did pieces feel distracting? What else could I add that would further drive my point?

Dr. Beiler suggested bringing the StoryMap to the PRINT meeting. I was terrified immediately. I knew I had unfinished work and I am not used to presenting unfinished work to people and asking for help. I had little choice. I was in a rut and I could not find ways to answer my own questions. It will come to not surprise to anyone that this was the key to answering my questions as well as noting how this project to expand to better fit my thesis later.

Not only did I gain incite on why things felt distracting (my pictures were taking away from the words or I didn't have a diagram explaining which section of the structure we were analyzing at the time but the incite on zooming in to better see sections had never occured to me and would enhance my ability to explain. Also we realized that instead of two separate StoryMaps I could look at both 16th and 17th Century women's letters on a singular StoryMap to better convey my idea.

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All in all I write about my experience to tell you this. Research is a collaborative process This seems like common sense I know however recently I have been reminded about this a lot. It is impossible to research without building on the ideas of others. We must work together to produce work. Going at it alone breeds bias and confusion. There are few people in the world who want to see you fail and I have yet to meet a single academic that wants to see another person fail.

Another important note not just for myself but to anyone doing research. A first attempt - those words used to haunt me- is just that. It may be scrapped. It may be expanded, It may be abandoned. I could also just need editing. However, it is not something to judge yourself on. For the first time in a my academic career not only did I accept my first attempt failed but I walked away from my first attempt and started over without beating myself up for over a week about it. It felt good and it allowed me to move forward and create something that is still in progress but also I am extremely proud of.

Heres the Link for those that want to see the progress!